Monday, August 10, 2009


My name is Kait.

I work with children.

I am not a parent. I am not a teacher. I don't have a degree in education or child psychology. I never set out to work with kids but that's just the way things in my post-college world turned out. You take what you can get, and in my case, it involved answering a newspaper advertisement for "instructors/performers." My degree is in Theatre Arts and I thought this would be better when it comes to using my degree than working in a bank (again). I assumed I would be dressed up as a celery stalk and sing and dance in school assemblies about healthy eating choices.

That's not what I do, but it's not that far off the mark. I teach simple science to kids through after-school programs, camp-like summer programs, birthday party shows, booths at science fairs, and school assemblies. I don a labcoat and an alias and I teach your kids. Additionally, I have another job involving kids: I am a coach for youth actors during the summer. I take your shy children and turn them into actors with discipline not unlike boot camp. I train your kids.

I also watch your kids. I go into elementary schools and watch them, too. I watch parents.

Let's get this straight: I am not part of The Circle. I don't have kids, I haven't devoted my life to kids, and I don't want kids. This doesn't translate to "I hate kids." I don't hate kids. Saying you hate kids is like saying you hate old people. There are some cool ones in the bunch. It's a blanket statement. Sure, I hate some kids, but everybody hates those kids (except their parents). There are good days and there are bad days, there are good kids and there as bad kids. There are good kids who do bad things, and some bad kids who just do things so fucking cute you regret ever wanting to put their heads on spikes.

This blog is for the good days and the bad days, the good kids and the bad kids. It's for the weird shit elementary schools do (and the people that work there, oh my god); it's for the overprotective/mean/weird parents and the really cool parents. When I need to vent about my life with kids, it goes here.

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